Day 9: Why “Pushing Through” Breaks You
The Neurodivergent Philosopher: Daily Meditations
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” — Anonymous
I often wonder if there’s a particular form of violence in the phrase “just push through it”…yes, I know it’s good to push through your barriers, to get to the next level, to grow, to expand your skills, expand your mindset…I’m not talking about that “just push through it”.
I’m talking about our social construct forcing everyone to conform? The duality of right and wrong, not from a moral perspective, from “this is the right way” perspective. Is it? Who said?
“They said”
You know my answer to that…who the f$*k are “they”?
Because you can push through.
You’ve been pushing through your entire life.
That’s how you got here…to this moment of complete depletion, reading about burnout because you’re in burnout.
Pushing through means:
Going to the social event when your sensory system is already overloaded
Maintaining eye contact when it causes physical pain
Forcing yourself to focus when your attention is genuinely elsewhere
Responding to texts immediately even when you don’t have the cognitive bandwidth
Sitting still when your body needs to move
Working through hyperfocus crashes without rest
Attending to others’ emotions when yours are unprocessed
Meeting deadlines by sacrificing sleep, food and basic self-maintenance
You can do all of this.
Neurodivergent people are exceptional at pushing through.
But there’s a cost. And the cost isn’t immediately visible, so you keep spending energy you don’t have, borrowing from tomorrow’s reserves, taking out loans against your nervous system’s capacity.
Until one day, the system refuses the transaction. The account is overdrawn and there is nothing left to borrow. That’s not the moment you became broken, that’s the moment your body finally enforced a boundary you kept ignoring.
The cup isn’t empty because you’re inadequate. It’s empty because you’ve been pouring while simultaneously being drained, never pausing long enough to refill.
Today:
List three things you’re currently “pushing through”.
Now ask: What would happen if I didn’t?
Not “what will others think” but “what would my nervous system need?”
The answer might terrify you. That’s information too.
Then…ask yourself “who are the ‘they’ in my life?
If you cannot answer it, stop pushing through.